


Paper Product Predicaments

by Catminty



Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Community: tf_bunny_farm, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Silly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-26
Updated: 2013-03-25
Packaged: 2017-12-06 13:04:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/736034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catminty/pseuds/Catminty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Red Alert thoroughly examines a human form of communication, much to Optimus' amusement.</p><p>Adopted from tf_bunny_farm</p>
            </blockquote>





	Paper Product Predicaments

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt found here: http://tf-bunny-farm.livejournal.com/416429.html

A shaky pointing-stick poked at the offending object with over-exaggerated care. Best to be careful. Who knew how it could have been tampered with? Red Alert got down on his knees to stare at the folded piece of wood pulp, ink, and adhesive at the tabletop's level. Several scans of varying nature gave positive results to what he had suspected. His horns sparked intermittently in increasing emotional fluxes. 

The commanding officers sat silently in learned patience as their security director worked his way through his newest glitch-worthy discovery. It was always like this when the white and red mech was presented with something that exchanged as many servos as this type of item did. Optimus rose a quelling servo even before the fidgeting Ironhide could grump. The Prime smiled behind his facemask; Red Alert always went above and beyond his duties to protect his comrades, the least they could do was humor him.

The security director grumbled, small swatch of folded paper pinched delicately between two digits as he carefully inspected it. It was set down with great distaste, and then the process repeated with the other small squares and rectangles of paper products. 

"No! Absolutely not!" The smaller white and red mech's outburst startled everyone out of their dozing states. "This... This ghastly excuse for communication will not be used in this base!"

A rumbling chuckle resonated from deep within Optimus' chassis. "What caused you to reach this conclusion?"

Red Alert was  _not_  pleased. "It is not secure! Not at all!" He slapped the offending object down onto the table. "The material is flimsy, the sealant can easily be tampered with, and the 'hidden' glyphs are so bold that they can be read without any tampering at all!" Their OCD security officer stilled for a shuddering intake before his fit escalated further. He stood straight, cleared his vocalizer, then declared to the room at large. "There will be no written form of communication on this base. No letters. No notes. No fragging ENVELOPES!"

Put simply, Red Alert hated paper products. 

Two weeks later, some genius sent him an empty, unmarked cardboard box. He glitched so hard that Ratchet actually imbedded his prized wrench halfway into the wall when it missed its intended target.

**Author's Note:**

> Second chapter will be about Prowl and sticky notes.


End file.
